If a man who is in an emotional affair starts to fall in love with a woman who he respects, then he finds himself confused with having the thoughts of love and lust at the same time. He finds himself treating her with total respect. He treats her as a princess. He wants everything for her. He wants to make her happy.
But with all this respect and caring, can he still lust after her? Can he be totally open with her and share secret lustful joys with her? He is either sheltering her from this dark side of himself, or he is afraid to share this dark side with her due to the respect he has for her.
It is simply a normal sexual behavior that adds fun and amusement to a relationship. This dark side I refer to is nothing bad. Review the definitions above again that I took from Webster’s Dictionary, every good and healthy relationship includes this kind of sharing. It opens the door for sexual expression between a man and a woman.
Why, then, is there an issue with opening up emotionally with a woman with whom the man has total respect? Is the respect creating a brick wall? Is it actually hindering any ability to make a full emotionally united partnership out if it? Is it correct to say that love and lust are mutually exclusive?
That is to say that we can have either one but not both? I know many men who have chosen a life with a woman who is not right for them. They married out of lust, not love.
The Power of Lust
If you have lust with someone and you fall in love, the love will keep you together and the lust will keep it alive. Lust is important for a relationship to flourish. We certainly need love, no question about it. Without lust the romance in a relationship can dwindle over time.
It’s lust that keeps some types of people from seeking other partners. Other types of people have the desire to remain faithful simply because of the love they feel. I believe that “lust” has a lot to do with having a deep-felt loving relationship as long as one can combine it with respect.
