Fingering doesn’t carry the risk of pregnancy, and it carries a very low risk of STI transmission.
Using your fingers is one of the best ways to stimulate your partner.
Here are some simple steps that will help you to key into your partner’s pleasure.
- It’s more than sticking your finger in and out
Remember, it’s what’s on the outside that counts. Specifically, we’re talking about the clit. One point echoed throughout the study was that the kind of “fingering” that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing the outside area around the clit. In fact, that’s how most women masturbate because it’s what actually feels the best. For the vast majority of women, penetration is nice, but it’s kind of like rubbing your balls – pleasant, but not going to make you come.
- Different women like different things
Sometimes, guys who think they have “the move” are usually worst at giving pleasure. The mentality of “one move to finish them all” makes sense to men, since moves like stroking and sucking work for almost all guys, and if there’s lube, just about any rubbing is going to feel good to some degree. But for women, it’s truly different strokes for different folks.
The clit is so sensitive that touch can sometimes feel really uncomfortable or even hurt certain women. So if some move felt really good for your ex-girlfriend, that doesn’t mean it’ll do the trick for your next girlfriend. A prime example is that some women orgasm almost exclusively through their clitoris, while others prefer a G-spot orgasm. In bed, try experimenting with using different fingers, since some girls might prefer you use a smaller, shorter finger, while others might prefer the middle finger for maximal G-spot stimulation.
- Fingering isn’t just for foreplay
It’s true that very few women get off by way of penetration alone.
Studies have shown that some women need their clit stimulated during intercourse in order to reach orgasm. That means you need to pay attention to your partner’s most sensitive part during intercourse if you want her to orgasm.
Fact is, most women would prefer to have their sensitive parts touched throughout the act.
- Start by touching everything except the vagina
For most women, the more anticipation that’s built up before touching the vagina, the more aroused they become, providing more pleasure once you do start to touch her down there.
Recent studies have shown that kisses on the lips, neck, shoulders, and arms usually do the trick, as well as gently, slowly stroking their stomach, legs, and thighs. You can’t go wrong with slow foreplay.
- Pay attention to her reactions
Many of the study’s participants reported that the guys who are best at fingering are the ones who start off gently and then try different moves while watching and asking for feedback. They also ask questions that don’t put their partner in a tough spot. For example, questions like “Is that good?” or “Are you close?” are not the direction you want to go. Instead, ask questions like “Faster or slower?” or “Higher or lower?” The answers to these questions will actually give you useful information to make the pleasure better, and keep your ego intact.