There are so many reasons why people enter into marriage even aside God’s purpose of marriage. Marriage according to God’s perspective has changed in the sight of man. Most people of today, most especially, focus more on the reactions from the society on their life than their right and comfort. A lot of people marry out of these seven (7) reasons:
1. They are growing old:
Single women especially those above the age of forty (40years) are disrespected by society and single men of the same age are viewed as irresponsible. This societal conception has compelled many people to enter into marriage without thorough preparation because they think they are growing old and people would be talking too much about it.
Even though marrying early is good, you need to acquire the vital knowledge and skills first. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and adequate preparation and readiness to handle responsibilities is required before one enters. Singles should not allow societal pressures to lure them to marry when they are not ready.
2. They need a partner:
At a point in time, loneliness is felt; as such people think marrying to get company would solve this challenge; when they feel lonely, the idea of searching for a partner kick-start. Such people are usually inadequately prepared.
A person should learn to have completeness in him/herself before getting married. Even though loneliness sometimes is a difficult situation, one should be vigilant in choosing a lifetime partner. Otherwise you will get tired of too much closeness with your partner at some point and ruin your marriage.
3. They need to settle down:
People think they just have to settle down at some point in time, this is a wrong perception. Bear in mind that even if you are 50 years old and you are not mentally, emotionally, socially and financially sound, getting into marriage would call for unforeseen challenges. It pays to be physically, financially, socially and emotionally sound before getting married.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and adequate preparation and readiness to handle responsibilities is required. The fact that you need to settle down does not mean you shouldn’t make adequate preparation before. Put your life in order before you search for a partner to marry.
4. In order to raise children:
It has been said that children are assets; but children are really gifts not assets. Children being said to be assets can be the cause of a lot of marital problems; thus when people marry and don’t have children after some years, they feel pressure both from themselves and society.
Since children are gifts from God, couples should pray, prepare and wait expectantly and patiently for children to come. Therefore, do not feel any pressure or let not somebody put pressure on you for children. After all, it is your life and marriage not theirs; if you listen to them and acquire children the wrong way, you would suffer the consequences whiles they enjoy their lives.
5. For financial support:
Financial support means to obtain support in terms of money. Most partners tend to marry a person with wealth for ease of life without considering the most important aspect of character. Even though money is good, remember that a partner who gives you all his/her money might be trading for your respect and integrity.
The more he/she gives you money without you contributing greatly to it, the less he/she respects you. I am not saying obtaining financial support from your partner is bad but taking that as a motive of entering into marriage is disastrous, therefore avoid it. Many people are suffering because of this; they have all the wealth they need and want but lack respect and happiness in their marriage.
6. For social acceptance:
People tend to feel rejected and disrespected by family for not having a partner at a certain age of their life. They are therefore forced to marry without taking time to thoroughly investigate the partner they want to spend the rest of their life with.
The family is there to support you but marriage is a separate affair from the external family. You cannot push your challenges on them because they gave you pressure to marry. The choice is yours! If you prepare well and marry late, they will still respect and support you. When you marry out of their pressure, it might lead to serious complications.
7. Sexual reasons (The Cookie):
Sex involving penetration: an act carried out for reproduction or pleasure involving penetration, thus when a man inserts his erect penis into a woman’s vagina. Most people think they need a partner to satisfy their sexual desire or feelings and therefore marry to achieve this goal.
Remember sex driven relationship do not last and has its challenges especially when sexual desires diminish. Sex does not kill or solve the problem of lust; self-control does. Therefore setting sex as your key aim of going into marriage will definitely cause problems. Take for instance, in a day of 24 hours, how many minutes or hours can one have sex? Not even a quarter (6hours) of it. Set the right goal.
God’s Purpose for Marriage
Marriage has originally been ordained by God for special purpose. These are the three very important reasons why God instituted marriage:
1. Companionship … Genesis 2:18
Companionship is a relationship/company of friends and the relationship that exists between them. Genesis 2:18 (KJV)…and the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.
One of God’s purposes of marriage is to give man a helper or someone who would be there for him in times of joy or sorrow, sickness or good health, rich or poor and weeping or laughter; to stay together forever to achieve His purpose of marriage. We must therefore take into consideration God’s purpose of marriage as companionship and apply it to our marriage in order to enjoy God’s blessing in marriage.
2. Encouragement and Support:
Encouragement is support that inspires confidence whereas support is to give somebody an active help. God has designed marriage to give both partners support to appreciate and inspire each other, have confidence in any situation they go through, be it positive or negative.
He also designed marriage to give a helping hand socially, financially, emotionally and mentally to each partner when the need arises. We must therefore not undermine the essence of getting married but also be very careful who we choose as our partner.
3. Respect:
Respect is a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody. To admire is to be pleased with or regard somebody; and deference is to put another person’s interest first. Think of your friend who just got married and has become a “responsible” man/woman!!!
You would realize he/she commands an exceptional respect from people; people value him/her as responsible. “Responsible” here means that he/she will no more think and provide for him/herself alone but the other partner and the family to be established. That is how God has designed marriage to be in the aspect of respect. A married man/woman becomes extra responsible and caring thus commanding respect.
By: Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene
