The Plight of a Young Modern Widow
The African Culture and the society have over the years treated widows with pain, anguish and sorrow that need to be looked at critically. The elders made us to believe that widowhood rites were for consolation and a therapy as most widows still survive several years after the demise of their partners after remarrying.
According to them, widowhood was not just a rite for for sex but to fill a vacuum in the mind and heart of the widow. Women had to go through all sorts of ordeals which suggested that they were cleansing themselves to justify or otherwise any knowledge about their husband’s death. And woe unto any lady who refused to undergo this rite, they are ridiculed and called all sorts of names.
Previously in the country, widows were treated with disdain and disrespect with the perception that they were the cause of their partners deaths. Thanks to education and modernization, this misconception gradually eroded but here we are with most young widows suffering in the hands of scrupulous men taking them for a ride.
Currently the death rate of young men in the country is alarming due to pressure from work and society, disorders and sedentary lifestyles leaving behind young women and kids who needs care and love not necessarily sexual love but understanding for the proper training of their young ones.
The fatherly role in the development of young families is key and critical for a successful and proper kids who will grow into responsible adults., Unfortunately for our women, being a widow in the country is gradually becoming a curse because the society upon all the education and enlightenment still thinks otherwise of widows.
Most widows who doubles as single parents are going through a lot of neglect. This is because the society believe what killed a woman’s husband can kill another man hence its better to be with an unmarried lady than to chase a widow which comes with its curses as believed by the society.
A young widow is still a human being with various needs and affection that can be satisfied not just sex, love, care and but a man to give a listening ear that can understand the needs and troubles of a widow so there can be a shoulder for the woman in times of her trying times. A partner for companionship and understanding has become a problem for many for our young widows.
The widow is forsaken or neglected most at times by her deceased husbands’ family, she is left on her own with no form of financial or moral support to survive after the death of her beloved. The young orphans need fatherly presence in their lives. They are young and need the father picture in their homes to serve as role model and also to shape them for their adulthood.
It is also a fact that society accuse some widows of ending the lives of their loved ones to gain independence but is it always the case. Should young widows suffer loneliness and continuous grief after the death of their husbands that can lead them into unacceptable sexual lifestyles that society frowns on.
Sadly, most men take advantage of the vulnerability of most widows in the society to maltreat, ridicule and molest them due to the society’s perception about them. Men mostly the perpetrators of this hideous acts go scot free for taking advantage of these lonely women.
Widows need men in the society to help fill a vacuum in their lives and that of their young children. Genuinely widows should not suffer for no fault of theirs. They did no harm and should not be treated with disdain and contempt in the society.
Religious bodies, Female activists, Human Rights Lawyers and leaders in the society must speak up against certain beliefs and outmoded practices been meted out to young widows. Our God-fearing men please kindly stop adding woes to already grief-stricken widows. They deserve our sympathy and love not our condemnation, brutalities and 419 love.
Enough of widows been taken for granted by the men. Enough.
By Adwoa Adubia
#FEMALEACTIVISTSPEAKOUT.
#WIDOWS#SPEAKOUT!
#YOUNGSINGLEPARENTWATCHOUT!!
