Many Relationships and Marriages are collapsing within a very short period of its establishment. Just petty things like Tooth paste, Cockroach, etc. are destroying marriages as early as one-week old marriage. Do you know the reason for this? We all think we know, we can handle every situation, it issimple as far as we love each other; that is where you get it wrong.
Let’s consider this; why do you obtain academic knowledge on the job you want to do in the near future, now? It is because you want to know it better and perform incredibly well at it when given the opportunity and therefore when the opportunity is given, you do it for so many years that promotions are given you. Why is it that you don’t sit down and wait for the job so that when you go into it, you will learn and become a master? It is the same way Relationship and Marriage has to be treated or observed.
We need to obtain detail knowledge, go for seminars and counselling, listen and watch programmes relating to them in order to get an in-depth knowledge to master all unforeseen challenges. Beside my natural gift as a counsellor and motivator, I listened and learnt a lot about it years before I got married. There are so many reasons why people enter into marriage even aside God’s purpose for marriage.Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com.Some of these reasons are:
- They are growing old:
Single women especially those above the age of forty (40years) are disrespected by society and single men of the same age are viewed as irresponsible. This societal conception has compelled many people to enter into marriage without thorough preparation because they think they are growing old and people would be talking too much about it. Even though marrying early is good, you need to acquire the vital knowledge and skills first.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and adequate preparation and readiness to handle responsibilities is required before one enters. Singles should not allow societal pressures to lure them to marry when they are not ready.
- They need a partner:
At a point in time, loneliness is felt; as such people think marrying to get company would solve this challenge; when they feel lonely, the idea of searching for a partner kick-start. Such people are usually inadequately prepared. A person should learn to have completeness in him/herself before getting married.
Even though loneliness sometimes is a difficult situation one should think very carefully in choosing a lifetime partner. Otherwise you will get tired of too much closeness with your partner at some point and ruin your marriage.Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com.
- They need to settle down:
People think they just have to settle down at some point in time, this is a wrong perception. Bear in mind that even if you are 50 years old and you are not mentally, emotionally, socially and financially sound, getting into marriage would call for unforeseen challenges.
It pays to be physically, financially, socially and emotionally sound before getting married. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and adequate preparation and readiness to handle responsibilities is required.
- In order to raise children:
It has been said that children are assets; but children are really gifts not assets. Children being said to be assets can be the cause of a lot of marital problems; thus when people marry and don’t have children after some years, they feel pressure both from themselves and society. Since children are gifts from God, couples should pray, prepare and wait expectantly and patiently for children to come.
Therefore, do not feel any pressure or let not somebody put pressure on you for children. After all, it is your life and marriage not theirs; if you listen to them and acquire children the wrong way, you would suffer the consequences whiles they enjoy their lives.
- For financial support:
Financial support means to obtain support in terms of money. Most partners tend to marry a person with wealth for ease of life without considering the most important aspect of character. Even though money is good, remember that a partner who gives you all his/her money is trading for your respect and integrity.
The more he/she gives you money, the less he/she respects you. I am not saying obtaining financial support from your partner is bad but taking that as a motive of entering into marriage is disastrous, therefore avoid it. Many people are suffering because of this; they have all the wealth they need and want but lack respect and happiness.
- For social acceptance:
People tend to feel rejected and disrespected by family for not having a partner at a certain age of their life. They are therefore forced to marry without taking time to thoroughly investigate the partner they want to spend the rest of their life with. The family is there to support you but marriage is a separate affair from the external family.
You cannot push your challenges on them because they gave you pressure to marry. The choice is yours! If you prepare well and marry late, they will still respect and support you.Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com.
- Sexual reasons (The Cookie):
Sex involving penetration: an act carried out for reproduction or pleasure involving penetration, thus when a man inserts his erect penis into a woman’s vagina. Most people think they need a partner to satisfy their sexual desire or feelings and therefore marry to achieve this goal.
Remember sex driven relationship do not last and has its challenges especially when sexual desires diminish.
By: Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene
